What Makes a Mom?

2 Timothy 1:3-5

Today we’re going to talk about what makes a mom? However, men that doesn’t mean you won’t benefit from this message. So please don’t tune out.

Now I don’t have to tell any of you that being a mom is of tremendous importance and tremendous value! It’s one of the most important and some would argue the most important job we can ever have as women. I cannot stress that enough.

And by the way, before we go any further, to all of you ladies out there who want or wanted to be a mom but aren’t or weren’t able to have children, and for all you who have lost children, however that loss might have occurred, as well as everyone who has lost your mom– you are all in my thoughts and prayers……

I lost my mom, it’s hard to believe, but it will be five years ago next month. We knew that my mom was dying and we had some time to prepare for it which was very beneficial. Having the time allowed me to say everything to my mom that I wanted to say to her which helped to provide closure for me, assisting me in the grief process. As nothing was left hanging in our relationship.

I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of the book The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman, but if you haven’t I encourage you to read it – it’s a really good book. In this book Gary describes 5 ways or “languages” we use to share our love with others. What are the five languages – words of affirmation, physical touch, and acts of service, quality time and gifts.

However, what is really important to understand is that we don’t all use the same language when we are expressing our love for someone. So when we don’t use the same love language sometimes the other person doesn’t feel loved. It doesn’t mean they’re not loved, but they have a difficult time perceiving the love. Does that make sense? So as you can imagine this can be a real problem in any close intimate relationship whether we are talking about with our spouse, children, siblings, best friend, etc.

My primary way to express love is through words of affirmation and physical touch.  Yes, some of us can have two languages that we tend to favor more than the others. And because I cry easily I choose to write my mom a letter telling her everything I wanted to tell her before she died, instead of doing so face-to-face.

Looking back I’ve come to realize that my mom’s primary love languages were quality time and acts of service. So our love languages did not match. Thus, I’m not sure if the letter meant as much to her as I wanted it to. But unfortunately, at this point I’ll never know the answer to that.

What did I include in the letter that I thanked her for the most? The fact that she raised me in the faith, just as her mom had raised her in the faith. Yes, I had to claim the faith as my own when I became an adult, but she raised me in the faith.

Now I’m thinking if my mom’s love language would have been words of affirmation she most likely would have written a letter to me as well. I know if given the time and opportunity before my death, I will definitely write letters to my children and grandchildren telling them how much they mean to me.

And that’s just what the apostle Paul choose to do when he knew his death was impending – write a letter. Paul wasn’t dying from a disease – no – he was in prison and he was waiting for his execution. So he wrote his final good-bye letter to someone whom he considered a son, Timothy. He passed on to Timothy the torch of leadership, stressed to him what was important and offered encouragement in the process all through this letter.

Please listen to this passage of scripture in 2 Timothy 1:3-5, “I thank God, whom I serve, as my ancestors did, with a clear conscience, as night and day I constantly remember you in my prayers. Recalling your tears, I long to see you, so that I may be filled with joy.” Now here is the important part for the purpose of this message, “I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also.”

I think aside from a mother’s love, there is no greater gift we can give our children than that of faith, to know and to love Jesus. Now some may argue, what a minute Cathy? What about teaching them how to kind, responsible, to work hard and to persevere, etc. Well, if you really think about it, when you offer them faith, they will develop these characteristics. They will grow up to be men and women of good moral character. Remember the scripture from Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

Hence, my belief that aside from love, raising our children in the faith, always keeping in mind we have no control over whether or not they assimilate our faith and make it their own, is the single greatest gift we can pass on to our children as their mother.

I’d like to offer two final thoughts on motherhood. First, it’s so very important to remember that we are not perfect! We will make mistakes, there is no ifs, ands, or buts about it. We must simply do the best we can at the time and when we know better, do better! Forgive yourself for all of the mistakes you have made…… And second, please, please don’t try and do it alone – you need the power of the Holy Spirit – you need His wisdom, guidance, encouragement and love as you seek to be a Godly, loving mother!


Pastor Cathy

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